The Stupid Children

Their mother was very cruel, yet their father was kind. He was always drinking so their mother was able to take them away. She left them in a dense forest hoping they would not find their way back. She went back home to eat and drink.

            The children wandered around, trying to leave a trail but birds got the best of it. Those damn birds. The children finally found a cottage made of many treats and became very excited and relieved to find someone else in the forest. They had made a stupid decision they would definitely regret. The woman inside fooled them easily and locked them children in a cage.

“Where are we?’ the young girl asked her older brother.

“I don’t know, but we need to get out of here.” The boy was realistic, which would have been helpful before he tried leaving a trail of breadcrumbs in a forest. He should have known animals would get to it.

The woman was actually a witch, and she was boiling a pot to cook the children in. They were not quite sure what she was doing, but it definitely would not be in their favor. They were already locked in a cage. Surprisingly, the woman would randomly feed them candy and pizza. They were not complaining, even though a strange woman was handing them food in a cage. They were stuck for days, and it seemed like all they did was eat. They started looking plump and gross, when the boy finally realized what the steaming pot that had been sitting out was for. The children were being stupid for constantly eating; obviously there was a reason they were locked up.

When the boy had gotten really fat, the woman opened the cage and tried to knock him out.

“Come here kid. It’s time for a real dinner!” Even though he was fat, he was not slow so he moved out of her way and raced out of the cage.

“Get back here you damn boy!” The woman chased after him all the way over to the boiling pot of water, She lunged at him but he moved out of the way (again, did she not learn her lesson?), and she landed in the pot and died instantly.  

The plump kids waddled out of the cottage and found their way back home. They did not even need the stupid breadcrumbs. When they got home, their nasty stepmother had conveniently died and their father had put down a beer to welcome them home. Hansel and Gretel would not go into a candy cottage again, or eat any candy for a while.